Its song is nothing worthy of a lineage, but its wail drowns out all the others. And it sings its tune everywhere, all the time. This creature I speak of, is Top 40. And it needs to die right now.

By Roberto Moya
My earliest class starts at 9:35 A.M. It’s not an unreasonable time for those who live on campus but for train commuters like me, 9:35 A.M. spells out the exact reverse, 5:39 A.M. or more accurately, 5:30 A.M. – the time my alarm clock goes off. Three hours of what could have been [...]

…Before America’s Un- and Underinsured Can Get Theirs
By Matt Willemain
Apparently reluctant to say that President Obama was a liar, the Hunger Action Network of New York State (HANYS) decided to “call on President Obama to be Truthful with the American People.”  HANYS is a 27-year old statewide antipoverty activist group, accessible online at www.hungeractionnys.org/.  HANYS, [...]

By The Cupcake Kid
Welcome to your daily dose of reality.  Today we are going to take a look at this year’s Oscars and I hope to piss off a great deal of people.
First and foremost, let us get one thing out in the open.  Hollywood is run by “the chosen people,” and all you have [...]

Inauguration fever swept through Washington D.C. and somehow, the city emerged in one piece and successfully sworn in its 44th President. Eleven hours on my feet had left me with a mild feeling of numbness that was successfully counterbalanced by dinner with a former Press staffer and a decent night’s sleep.

The Stony Brook Freethinkers are actually an otter-worshiping orthodox Christian choir collective, Stony Brook Press authorities have learned.

According to papers obtained from Freethinker headquarters, the supposedly atheist and deist members profess their love of God on both a spiritual and sexual level.

Oh my God, oh my God, Barack Obama is on the TV! There he is, yo, get your Obama t-shirts and pins and hats and other assorted Obama shit ready, we gotta cheer really loud! Yeah! Go Obama, Go Obama! Tell those retards in the other suite to shut the hell up, Obama’s gonna speak.

I’m sitting down with a bag of Cheetos, big bag I tell ya, extra cheese, and I calls to the wife. I say, “Hey wife you know what I heard on the tube?” And she says, “What, you already told me about them pills that make your diddly hoo hoo better.”